The Week I Figured It Out

The Henry Effect, a Regrettable new Trump Lip Sync, and Famous Last Words

Le Rebrand

“Coop d’Ètat” is now “how was your week?” This is my 90th rebrand and the rebrands will continue until morale improves. The current rebrand was brought to you by some research I definitely should’ve done before which illuminated to me that Substack feels more like a place to keep in touch and not a place try to show you how witty I am. Alas, my wit cannot be contained. Subscribe so you never miss a week, even when you wish you had.

This week I…

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Discovered “The Henry Effect.”

I know you’re busy. Do people say that to you a lot? Same. I’ve never had anyone say, it seems like you have a lot of free time on your hands. Instead, I unintentionally give off this wrap it up vibe. But I hate that people feel rushed when they talk to me. It’s just not a good feeling to give (or get). I never feel more rushed than when I talk to my father. He treats me like he knows I have more important things to do than talk to him, which, from his perspective might seem deferential but in reality, kinda breaks my heart. He’s always rushing off. So I started focusing on sitting back, relaxing, and not having anything else to do.

Which came in handy when I…

Invited a few writers over. To write. Separately.

Did you know if you get lonely as a writer you can invite writer friends over to sit in silence with laptops open? Who knew? The one thing I loved about WeWork was being around people who were also working but who I did not need to talk to. But I invited people over who I actually want to talk to, so it felt good to chill with productivity, and feel free to be interrupted and let conversations last longer than silences. I felt very relaxed. Being part of a group has always been hard for me, I’ve always been a loner. But now I’m in group therapy so I’m damn near cured. I learn something new about myself every week.

This week I…

Learned I don’t want to be moody.

I’ve spent my entire life thinking moodiness was okay. Wearing it like a badge of honor. Telling myself that if I didn’t feel like smiling, it was okay not to smile. To be grumpy! To be a grumpy grumpster! My ex was a grumpy grumpster. It’s the thing I liked least about him. And yet, since getting divorced I’ve been moody as hell. I almost wonder if him being moody made me less moody to make up for his moodiness? Or maybe even just to show off how not moody I could be. And maybe once that counterbalance was gone, my moodiness began? Who knows. But I seriously thought it was okay. But this week that I was like wait a minute - I don’t want people wondering which Sarah they’re going to get this time. Will it be happy Sarah or pissed off Sarah and snarky Sarah or tired Sarah. I want them to know they’re gonna get Sarah Sarah every time. Somehow, I thought being different everyday was a sign of being human. But no. Evolving and growing as a person is a sign of being human. Being different everyday is a sign of madness. Plus, I do not have the amount of talent I’d need to outweigh an unpredictable attitude. Not yet, anyway. So until such time, I’m gonna be in a good mood all the time.

And I was in a good mood pretty much all week, until I…

Posted a new Trump lip sync.

I love how much people seem to love these lip syncs (via my YouTube) but it was so triggering to make this one and I felt okay when I was making it but then immediately regretted it. Because I have no interest in Trump at all as person and I don’t want to talk about him, I find him utterly boring. I truly feel like this might be my last one. But a few good things came out of it: some voter awareness perhaps and the fact that I set up a small green screen studio in my office and I feel inspired to make more things with it, especially when it comes to the stories in the novel I’m writing. I like the idea of bringing some of it to life before it becomes a book.

Speaking of the book, I…

Got nothing done on the book.

I’m getting stuck on making beautiful sentences. And no one gives a fuck about beautiful sentences. Plus this book is less of a novel and more like the bible for the tv show I want to create. I started writing it because I wrote it as a tv pitch a few years ago and it went nowhere, and I figured Hollywood loves IP, and I know how to write a book, so I turned the characters and episodes into chapters. But the second draft is way harder than the first.

However I did…

Get some valuable notes on the feature I’m writing.

It’s about an alternate reality where women have been the dominant power since the dawn of time and it is finally coming together after many, many months.

I also…

Finished a short story about the mob and AI.

I’ve never written a short story before. That’s right, I’m writing a novel and I’ve never written a short story. I do everything backwards.

I also…

Finished reading All Fours by Miranda July (recommend!)

And…

Started reading Creation Lake by Rachel Kushner

And…

Watched English Teacher and How to Die Alone

I’m so excited that some wonderful people are now the creators of their own shows, including Brian Jordan Alvarez, who I met when we cast him in our pilot for How to Be Successful without Hurting Men’s Feelings. His new show English Teacher is so much fun. And Natasha Rothwell, who I don’t know personally, but who also went to the University of Maryland, is the creator, writer, showrunner, star and producer of How to Die Alone. I love seeing her in this character and I’m so inspired by her badassery.

I’m also…

Feeling grateful that I actually KNEW the artists at the VMAs this year, which hasn’t happened for me since the 90s. I have TikTok to thank.

It feels nice to know what the youngsters are groovin to and groove to them, too. This might also be because all the music sounds like it’s from the 80s and 90s.

I also…

Had this quote stuck in my head:

“The Spirit of Harmony is forever testing you to see if you are who you say you are, or if you’re still in a former state.” (from Project 369 by David Kasneci). This quote singlehandedly made me work out five times this week and start drinking spinach smoothies again (spinach, a frozen banana and oat milk!)

And lastly, I…

Discovered my own personal famous last words.

Everyone has famous last words. In my 20s, my best friend Danna’s famous last words were, “I’m not drunk.” When she said this, she was about ten minutes from passing out. Famous last words are the things your friends say with utter conviction that you know aren’t true, but you can’t argue with them, you just have to sit there and watch it all fall apart so they’ll realize it on their own. My famous last words are, “I’ve figured it out.” I know now, that, whenever I say this, I have no clue what’s about to happen.

How was your week?

My collection of essays Foolish: How Google Docs Knew I was Getting a Divorce Before I Did, comes out in the UK on October 3rd! Pre-order it here.